Two
years ago, a mission wasn’t on my agenda. It wasn’t part of my plans. It wasn’t
in the scope of my desires. I didn’t think a mission would be in the cards for
me. Missionaries
leave for a year and a half (or two if male), and I wanted to do other things
with my life. I was an eighteen year old girl with a mild fear of missionaries,
and I thought I wanted to do other things instead. God thought otherwise.
God
knows me. He knows my challenges and difficulties, and he knows me strengths.
During fall of 2011, I did a project on missionary work. It increased my love
for missionaries, and it gave me a passion for missions. But, I still didn’t
know I would be going on one.
I didn’t know until January 30, 2012, a year
ago exactly. On that day, I said a simple prayer to a loving father in heaven.
I wasn’t praying about being a missionary. I was seeking help to get through a
problem that I could hardly grapple alone.
He inspired me to make a promise through the power of the Holy Ghost, a
power that can only be recognized through experience, to say that I would go on
a mission. I would like to share from my journal the commitment that I made:
“The first thing
that popped into my head when I was praying was that ‘I would serve a mission’[to
say]. I didn’t really like that because it wasn’t what I want to do. I don’t have much of a desire to set down a year and a half of
school, and life, but I promised him that if I was worthy and untaken I would go
serve him. I intend to keep this promise so I’m writing it down.”
Quite
simply, this is the reason that I chose to go on a mission. Because I made a
promise to God. I am not willing to break my word. Since then though, my desire
has become so much more.
At
the time of my prayer, I thought I was preparing for something about two and a
half years in the future, but I followed through with my commitment. I began to
prepare myself for a mission, publicly announcing that I was going, which
seemed silly at the time(not to me, but probs to others). I went to mission prep class during Sunday school,
and I volunteered at the MTC. Most importantly, I came to terms with the idea
of a mission and came to desire it for myself.
Less
than nine months after I made a promise to go, our latter-day prophet announced
to the whole church that girls could go at nineteen. I was nineteen. I had been
taking the semester off, trying to earn money with the goal to go to BYU
Jerusalem, which costs about the same as a mission. It was the first semester I
had ever taken off, and I had no excuse of waiting to sell a contract.
God
had prepared me without me even realizing it. New things utterly terrify me. If
I had not known that I was going on a mission, I do not know if I would have
made the choice to go. I know that he wants me to go, and I trust him.
I
want to go on a mission today, partly because of the commitment that I made,
but it has become something much more. I have a joy that fills my heart and
soul with such sweet peace. I believe that out there somewhere could be a
person who needs to hear the gospel from me. This church is true. It’s the
coolest and truest thing ever. Just as Joseph Smith said, “I knew it, and I
knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it...” (JS History 1:25, Monson’s
Talk on obedience). I know it, and I cannot
deny the truth. I don’t want to deny the truth!
You
may not understand how I feel, but I know that you can come to know how I feel. This gospel has been an immense blessing in my life. I invite you to
pray, read the Book of Mormon, and come to taste a fruit that is beyond
anything you have ever partaken of. I promise you that if you do so it will be
awesome, truly and wholeheartedly awesome.
